I think most couples who have been engaged can agree that there can be a lot of nerves and anxiety leading up to the wedding day (and even on the wedding day sometimes). I was worried that I would feel nervous and anxious on my wedding day and it was something I really hoped I didn't feel on that special day. I really just wanted to enjoy that day without reservation and I prayed that I would feel peace and know that I was making the right decision for my life.
When I woke up the morning on March 24, 2012 it actually amazed me how peaceful and happy I felt. I felt as though my Heavenly Father understood how much I needed a reassurance that I was making the right decision and happily gave me a special feeling of peace and joy that day. I felt so calm and reassured that I no longer worried about wanting to back out of anything at the last second. I got to just enjoy the morning with my mom and sisters when they came over to help me get ready. Though it was a simple gesture I thought it was adorable that Brandon texted me to say how happy he was that we were getting married. I don't know why but that thoughtfulness made me feel even more excited. I knew I was getting one amazing guy!
Once I was ready I dressed up in "Sunday best" for the temple. For those who don't know much about weddings in LDS temples the bride and groom enter wearing what we would typically wear on a Sunday (dress or skirt and blouse for a girl and suit and tie for a guy) and then once we are inside we go to our separate dressing rooms and the bride puts on her wedding gown and the groom wears white pants and a white shirt and white tie. My mom was there to help me get ready and to zip and fasten my dress which made the moment really special. I know this may sound silly but I have never felt so much like a princess as I did in that moment in the Bride's dressing room with my mom.
After Brandon and I each exited the dressing rooms we got to wait in the Celestial room together while the guests arrive. I remembered the feeling of peace and joy that I had felt that morning return, only the feelings were even stronger.
Soon Brandon and I knelt across from each other for the ceremony and I could feel the magnitude of that moment. I also knew so strongly that I was marrying the right person in the right place and I felt the spirit (the Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit as some might call it) so strongly! Its a moment that really no words can adequately describe. It was amazing and I was overjoyed! After the ceremony Brandon and I returned to our separate dressing rooms and I double checked my makeup and hair with assistance from my mom. Everything seemed to be in place and I was ready to go out and greet everyone waiting outside. However, due to the fact that I had several nieces and nephews who would quickly get bored in the waiting room of the temple we had to wait for them to be picked up by their parents so that everyone could be there once we came out.
When we exited the temple all our friends and family who were standing outside cheered loudly and Brandon and I couldn't help but smile and cheer with them. We were so happy to finally be husband and wife!
The rest of the day was a rush from pictures, to the luncheon, and then group pictures before the reception. It seems more like a blur of memories now, but forever it will be the greatest day of my life!
Here is a video explaining why we wear religious garments under our clothing and other symbolic clothing in the temples.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
The Question
I am getting eager to start posting about what is more currently happening in me and Brandon's life but I feel like I can't get to that without sharing how he "popped the question" and sharing a little bit about the wedding day as well. So, sorry for any that might be anxiously waiting for me to get current with this blog, but I felt there were just a couple more posts to write first. So, this is the story leading up to our engagement:
Thanksgiving was a whirlwind of meeting family members and spending time with them. It was a ton of fun but also a lot to take in. I loved meeting everyone and seeing how Brandon's family celebrated the holiday with their extended families. But also by the end of the day we were both anxious to have a little one on one time since that time was hard to come by in the normal hustle and bustle of everyday life. Brandon decided to take me to Peterman's Sports Park, which is basically just a small park down the river from the Idaho Falls LDS temple. It was actually decent weather that night with our coats on and we wandered all around the park, enjoying the different scenery that the park has to offer. At the very end of our walk through the park Brandon and I walked down a bridge where you can stop and look down river and have a clear view of the Idaho Falls temple shining brightly in the darkness. We stopped to take in the view and suddenly we began talking about OUR future and in that moment it seemed that both of us just knew that we wanted our future to be together. It was a wonderful moment I will never forget! The feeling was incredible! As we ended our conversation and walked back to the car Brandon asked me if I wanted to go ring shopping the next day. Of course I said yes! When we got in the car Brandon paused a second before starting the car. I looked at him and he said "Um, so I have to admit something... I almost proposed back there without a ring." "I would have been fine with that" I said. He seemed a little bummed that he hadn't and we drove away. I won't go into all the details of ring shopping but it was fun and scary at the same time. That night we sat down with his mom and the conversation went quickly to possible wedding dates. We decided on a couple weekends that might work but I had to check those dates with my immediate family to see what would work for those that would have to travel. That week, despite the fact that we were not yet engaged we talked to family members and decided that March 24th was going to be our day.
That week Brandon asked me if I wanted to have dinner with my sister Angie and her family since we hadn't been able to spend time with them during Thanksgiving. I said that would be really fun so we arranged a time to have dinner my sister Angie and brother-in-law Ben during the week. Brandon also mentioned that he thought it would be fun to take another walk at the park after dinner with Angie and Ben on Sunday and I admit I was a little suspicious that he might propose, knowing that he had almost done so earlier that week in that exact park. However, I was a little confused and slightly disappointed when Brandon talked to me about going ring shopping that Saturday.
When Sunday finally rolled around I was hoping and wondering if Brandon would propose but I wasn't sure if he would knowing we had just looked at more rings the day before. That night we ended up having to meet at my sister's house for dinner. When I opened the door to see Brandon standing on the doorstep with a dozen roses I was surprised and admittedly thought "Yay, maybe he will propose tonight!" but I decided not to think about because I didn't want to be disappointed if he didn't. After dinner I felt a glimmer of hope again that he would propose when I realized that the first week of December had greeted us with some very cold weather (and that night in particular was in the negatives) and yet Brandon still wanted to go for our walk. I thought to myself as we walked out the door "He better be proposing tonight, otherwise he is crazy for wanting to go on a walk in this weather."A few seconds later I was talking myself out of the idea that he was proposing because I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I decided to put the thought out of my mind and enjoy the walk despite the freezing cold weather.
As we got out of the car and started walking down the bridge a view caught my eye that I was fascinated with and I got distracted for a second. Then as I looked forward again I noticed something a few feet away. There was a stream of moonlight that lit up a B heart J and I could also make out "Always and Forever" below that. (That last phrase had a special meaning for us because each time we would say "I love you" to each other the other would respond with "always and forever.") But I could also tell there was some smaller writing on the top of the log that I couldn't see in the darkness. I bent down to read it and as I got close I could see the following written at the top: "December 4, 2011 Engaged." Suddenly it dawned on me that he really was proposing (as that was the date).
I jumped up and spun around with an excited "Really?" He was already on one knee. I'm pretty sure he chuckled at my reaction and then said "Jennifer Banner, will you marry me?" "YES, OF COURSE!" I practically shouted out of pure joy and excitement. He stood up and put the ring on my finger and kissed me. It was another amazing moment I hope to never forget!
I was so excited to see that ring on my finger that despite the fact that it was below freezing I wouldn't put my glove on. As we walked back to the car Brandon told me that his parents were waiting for us at the end of the bridge to take a picture. When we got to their car they told us that the camera wouldn't turn on because it was too cold and the battery wasn't able to function. At first I was a little disappointed, but it didn't take long for me to decide it was actually pretty funny that we had gone on that walk in below freezing temperatures so that Brandon could propose in our special spot. Of course it was totally worth it! I returned to my sister's house and we announced we were engaged and showed her the ring. Since Brandon and I both had to work in Idaho Falls the next day he was going to stay in his room at home and I had arranged to stay in one his parents spare rooms. So, on our way to their house we called several close family members and friends to tell them the news. When we got to Brandon's house we stayed up for a few hours with his parents, excitedly talking about wedding plans and laughing about the fact that it had been cold enough to freeze the camera battery. So far, no amount of joy I had experienced previously could match what I felt that day and I wondered in the back of my mind if the happiness and joy could ever be matched by another day. Of course I should have known that March 24th was going to surpass even that much joy!
Thanksgiving was a whirlwind of meeting family members and spending time with them. It was a ton of fun but also a lot to take in. I loved meeting everyone and seeing how Brandon's family celebrated the holiday with their extended families. But also by the end of the day we were both anxious to have a little one on one time since that time was hard to come by in the normal hustle and bustle of everyday life. Brandon decided to take me to Peterman's Sports Park, which is basically just a small park down the river from the Idaho Falls LDS temple. It was actually decent weather that night with our coats on and we wandered all around the park, enjoying the different scenery that the park has to offer. At the very end of our walk through the park Brandon and I walked down a bridge where you can stop and look down river and have a clear view of the Idaho Falls temple shining brightly in the darkness. We stopped to take in the view and suddenly we began talking about OUR future and in that moment it seemed that both of us just knew that we wanted our future to be together. It was a wonderful moment I will never forget! The feeling was incredible! As we ended our conversation and walked back to the car Brandon asked me if I wanted to go ring shopping the next day. Of course I said yes! When we got in the car Brandon paused a second before starting the car. I looked at him and he said "Um, so I have to admit something... I almost proposed back there without a ring." "I would have been fine with that" I said. He seemed a little bummed that he hadn't and we drove away. I won't go into all the details of ring shopping but it was fun and scary at the same time. That night we sat down with his mom and the conversation went quickly to possible wedding dates. We decided on a couple weekends that might work but I had to check those dates with my immediate family to see what would work for those that would have to travel. That week, despite the fact that we were not yet engaged we talked to family members and decided that March 24th was going to be our day.
That week Brandon asked me if I wanted to have dinner with my sister Angie and her family since we hadn't been able to spend time with them during Thanksgiving. I said that would be really fun so we arranged a time to have dinner my sister Angie and brother-in-law Ben during the week. Brandon also mentioned that he thought it would be fun to take another walk at the park after dinner with Angie and Ben on Sunday and I admit I was a little suspicious that he might propose, knowing that he had almost done so earlier that week in that exact park. However, I was a little confused and slightly disappointed when Brandon talked to me about going ring shopping that Saturday.
When Sunday finally rolled around I was hoping and wondering if Brandon would propose but I wasn't sure if he would knowing we had just looked at more rings the day before. That night we ended up having to meet at my sister's house for dinner. When I opened the door to see Brandon standing on the doorstep with a dozen roses I was surprised and admittedly thought "Yay, maybe he will propose tonight!" but I decided not to think about because I didn't want to be disappointed if he didn't. After dinner I felt a glimmer of hope again that he would propose when I realized that the first week of December had greeted us with some very cold weather (and that night in particular was in the negatives) and yet Brandon still wanted to go for our walk. I thought to myself as we walked out the door "He better be proposing tonight, otherwise he is crazy for wanting to go on a walk in this weather."A few seconds later I was talking myself out of the idea that he was proposing because I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I decided to put the thought out of my mind and enjoy the walk despite the freezing cold weather.
As we got out of the car and started walking down the bridge a view caught my eye that I was fascinated with and I got distracted for a second. Then as I looked forward again I noticed something a few feet away. There was a stream of moonlight that lit up a B heart J and I could also make out "Always and Forever" below that. (That last phrase had a special meaning for us because each time we would say "I love you" to each other the other would respond with "always and forever.") But I could also tell there was some smaller writing on the top of the log that I couldn't see in the darkness. I bent down to read it and as I got close I could see the following written at the top: "December 4, 2011 Engaged." Suddenly it dawned on me that he really was proposing (as that was the date).
I jumped up and spun around with an excited "Really?" He was already on one knee. I'm pretty sure he chuckled at my reaction and then said "Jennifer Banner, will you marry me?" "YES, OF COURSE!" I practically shouted out of pure joy and excitement. He stood up and put the ring on my finger and kissed me. It was another amazing moment I hope to never forget!
I was so excited to see that ring on my finger that despite the fact that it was below freezing I wouldn't put my glove on. As we walked back to the car Brandon told me that his parents were waiting for us at the end of the bridge to take a picture. When we got to their car they told us that the camera wouldn't turn on because it was too cold and the battery wasn't able to function. At first I was a little disappointed, but it didn't take long for me to decide it was actually pretty funny that we had gone on that walk in below freezing temperatures so that Brandon could propose in our special spot. Of course it was totally worth it! I returned to my sister's house and we announced we were engaged and showed her the ring. Since Brandon and I both had to work in Idaho Falls the next day he was going to stay in his room at home and I had arranged to stay in one his parents spare rooms. So, on our way to their house we called several close family members and friends to tell them the news. When we got to Brandon's house we stayed up for a few hours with his parents, excitedly talking about wedding plans and laughing about the fact that it had been cold enough to freeze the camera battery. So far, no amount of joy I had experienced previously could match what I felt that day and I wondered in the back of my mind if the happiness and joy could ever be matched by another day. Of course I should have known that March 24th was going to surpass even that much joy!
Thursday, July 31, 2014
And the Rest is History
I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "and the rest is history" to sum up a story. Its been over two years now since Brandon and I were in the dating stage so its definitely time to move on and catch up to where we are now. But, there are just a few things I want to share about our dating life so I guess now is the time to do that.
When I think back to how Brandon and I ended up dating and how easily we clicked and how things just "fell into place" it seems a lot like a fairytale right? After the first date everything pretty much just worked itself out. And yes, it was miraculous! But I don't want the way things worked out so perfectly for us to date to be confused with the reality of the relationship.
Relationships are never easy 100% of the time and yet that's sometimes what we think it should be like if it is "meant to be." I know I had a lot of misconceptions growing up about how life would be once I met the right person. So, I want to set the record straight for anyone wondering. No, me and Brandon's dating life wasn't 100% perfect. It had its ups and downs. But what made our relationship amazing to me was how we learned to work together and openly communicate about our differences.
Just like anyone else we had our misunderstandings, each of us sometimes came into a situation with unrealistic expectations and were disappointed, we got frustrated with each other once in a while. Basically we faced a lot of what every other couple faces and we learned a lot!
The other difficult part of our relationship was honestly for both of us to come to our own conclusions that we had both found the person we wanted to spend the rest of eternity with. How did we know we were ready to commit to forever?
Well for me I was luckily somewhat prepared by life experiences to know what I really needed and a little of what I wanted. But let me just say that just months before we started dating my idea of my perfect guy was a mile long. I'm just glad I had a friend who was able to point out to me that I needed to be more realistic about my expectations and desires.
My dear friend Savannah gave me a book that talked a lot about how so many girls have long lists of what they want their future husband to be like. The author gives examples of herself and many other friends who each made the mistake of passing up a perfectly good guy because they didn't have a few things on "the list" that they had wanted. This was a hard pill for me to swallow at first, but I came to realize that there were definitely things on my list that I thought were "deal breakers" that really weren't. One big one on that list was that I wanted to marry a dancer. I thought that I couldn't be happy unless I married someone who loved to dance as much as I did. After reading that book though, I realized that was a want, but not really a need (as were several things on the list). I realized that what I really needed was a guy who was a disciple of Jesus Christ and a valiant member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well as someone who could balance my personality with their own, treat me as an equal, be understanding about my sensitive nature but who could also lighten me up a little and make me laugh and help me enjoy life.
I'm so glad I learned that before Brandon came along. Otherwise I might have missed out on the best guy I have ever known, who is absolutely perfect for me (even with the fact that he doesn't really love to dance)!
For Brandon I think the hard part was that he didn't have the luxury that I did of having dated around a ton. He had dated some, but not nearly as much as I had. Sometimes I wondered if he was positive he wanted to marry me because he hadn't had the same opportunity to really date around as much. But in the end it really didn't matter to him. He decided he wanted to marry me because our strengths and weaknesses complimented each other and so did our personalities, and he felt that I was what he really needed and some of what he really wanted too. Along the way he decided that he didn't want to give all that away just because he was curious about what other girls had to offer.
We both knew from the start that what we had was unique and special, that we had both experienced an amazing and almost instant connection, and that we both had the same goals and dreams. We also both realized that most importantly we couldn't imagine not having each other! What other proof did we need that we were ready to commit to make that big step? We decided we didn't need more proof than that and we still both agree to this day (more than 2 years later) that marrying each other was the best decision we have ever made!!!
So, the perhaps I could have ended my last post with "and the rest was history" but I really wanted people to understand that though making that decision isn't always easy because it is such a HUGE decision, make it wisely with the understanding that though the one you love is not perfect, they may be perfect for you!
Here are some of our dating pictures!
Pictured below from top to bottom and left to right: Attending General Conference in Utah, getting ready for a bon fire at the Carney's, watching a BSU game with my family in Boise, Halloween night, hanging out at the Carney family Thanksgiving
When I think back to how Brandon and I ended up dating and how easily we clicked and how things just "fell into place" it seems a lot like a fairytale right? After the first date everything pretty much just worked itself out. And yes, it was miraculous! But I don't want the way things worked out so perfectly for us to date to be confused with the reality of the relationship.
Relationships are never easy 100% of the time and yet that's sometimes what we think it should be like if it is "meant to be." I know I had a lot of misconceptions growing up about how life would be once I met the right person. So, I want to set the record straight for anyone wondering. No, me and Brandon's dating life wasn't 100% perfect. It had its ups and downs. But what made our relationship amazing to me was how we learned to work together and openly communicate about our differences.
Just like anyone else we had our misunderstandings, each of us sometimes came into a situation with unrealistic expectations and were disappointed, we got frustrated with each other once in a while. Basically we faced a lot of what every other couple faces and we learned a lot!
The other difficult part of our relationship was honestly for both of us to come to our own conclusions that we had both found the person we wanted to spend the rest of eternity with. How did we know we were ready to commit to forever?
Well for me I was luckily somewhat prepared by life experiences to know what I really needed and a little of what I wanted. But let me just say that just months before we started dating my idea of my perfect guy was a mile long. I'm just glad I had a friend who was able to point out to me that I needed to be more realistic about my expectations and desires.
My dear friend Savannah gave me a book that talked a lot about how so many girls have long lists of what they want their future husband to be like. The author gives examples of herself and many other friends who each made the mistake of passing up a perfectly good guy because they didn't have a few things on "the list" that they had wanted. This was a hard pill for me to swallow at first, but I came to realize that there were definitely things on my list that I thought were "deal breakers" that really weren't. One big one on that list was that I wanted to marry a dancer. I thought that I couldn't be happy unless I married someone who loved to dance as much as I did. After reading that book though, I realized that was a want, but not really a need (as were several things on the list). I realized that what I really needed was a guy who was a disciple of Jesus Christ and a valiant member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as well as someone who could balance my personality with their own, treat me as an equal, be understanding about my sensitive nature but who could also lighten me up a little and make me laugh and help me enjoy life.
I'm so glad I learned that before Brandon came along. Otherwise I might have missed out on the best guy I have ever known, who is absolutely perfect for me (even with the fact that he doesn't really love to dance)!
For Brandon I think the hard part was that he didn't have the luxury that I did of having dated around a ton. He had dated some, but not nearly as much as I had. Sometimes I wondered if he was positive he wanted to marry me because he hadn't had the same opportunity to really date around as much. But in the end it really didn't matter to him. He decided he wanted to marry me because our strengths and weaknesses complimented each other and so did our personalities, and he felt that I was what he really needed and some of what he really wanted too. Along the way he decided that he didn't want to give all that away just because he was curious about what other girls had to offer.
We both knew from the start that what we had was unique and special, that we had both experienced an amazing and almost instant connection, and that we both had the same goals and dreams. We also both realized that most importantly we couldn't imagine not having each other! What other proof did we need that we were ready to commit to make that big step? We decided we didn't need more proof than that and we still both agree to this day (more than 2 years later) that marrying each other was the best decision we have ever made!!!
So, the perhaps I could have ended my last post with "and the rest was history" but I really wanted people to understand that though making that decision isn't always easy because it is such a HUGE decision, make it wisely with the understanding that though the one you love is not perfect, they may be perfect for you!
Here are some of our dating pictures!
Pictured below from top to bottom and left to right: Attending General Conference in Utah, getting ready for a bon fire at the Carney's, watching a BSU game with my family in Boise, Halloween night, hanging out at the Carney family Thanksgiving
The Interview
I was a bit nervous about my interview because I honestly didn't really know a lot about PSR. All I knew was that I was going to be working with children and adults dealing with behavioral or mental issues, and that I had to be somewhat qualified for the job because I had a friend who I graduated with in the Child Development program who had immediately taken a PSR job after graduation.
The morning of the interview I was all ready to go except for double checking the address for the PSR office. I felt pretty good as I walked out the door knowing that I was going to be at least 15 minutes early. As I approached the building it didn't really seem to be what I had expected; it wasn't the office-like atmosphere I had anticipated. However, there was a lady working at the front desk and so I asked her where I might be able to find the PSR director. She directed me to a door leading to a basement. As I stood at the base of the stairs I was confused by the fact that the room was full of what appeared to be several PSR workers and their clients. My surprise and confusion at the scene froze me to my spot near the stairs until suddenly one of the adults in the room turned to me and asked who I was looking for. When I stated that I was looking for the PSR director she said "Oh, you're here for an interview?" So of course I told her I was. She had a look of sympathy on her face and said "Well, you're actually at the wrong place. We come here to work with our clients but this isn't the office." I immediately felt my face getting hot and I was sure it was turning brighter red with every second. "Let me call the director" she said. Thankfully she reached him right away and explained to him that I was there for the interview but said she would direct me to the office. I was grateful that she took the time to call him because at least he knew I wasn't late to my interview for no reason. Still, I was pretty embarrassed.
When I got to the actual office building I was definitely more nervous than I anticipated. As I sat down with the PSR Director and one of the owners of the counseling agency I soon felt a calm come over me. I don't really remember a lot of details of the interview, but I remember that when I left I felt a sense of peace and satisfaction with how it had gone.
As I left the office building I called Brandon to let him know my interview was over and that I was going to come back to Rexburg and attend devotional with him. He promised he would save me a seat. When I found him at the BYU-I Center he gave me a hug and asked me how it had gone. I told him I felt good about it and he reassured me that I was likely to get the job. After devotional we went back to Brandon's apartment and I got to meet his roommates as well as talk to his brother Jared who had just returned from Iraq. Jared having known me from our previous student ward was a little surprised by the news that Brandon and I were dating, but he was supportive and happy for us (which was a definite plus). Around 5pm I reluctantly said my good-byes to Brandon and his friends. He walked me to the car and I could already feel a twinge of sadness at having to say goodbye once again. I couldn't help but hope and pray that this was one of our last goodbyes we had to face.
The following day in the cornfield my boss randomly started to ask me what my plans where as far as finding a job in a field relating to my degree. I decided it was the perfect time to let him know I had actually had an interview the previous day in Idaho Falls and was supposed to hear back by Friday. He was happy to hear that and said he was anxious to hear any updates. I was grateful that he was more happy for me than anything else.
After getting off work by noon again that day I headed in to the office where my mom works to do some filing (which I often did as a part time job to help her out as well as earn some extra money). While I was filing some papers I got a call from the counseling agency offering me the job. I accepted and asked when they would like me to start. They mentioned that they would like me to start the next day. I was a little shocked by that and had to explain that I would need time to move but would be willing to start on Monday. They agreed that would work and we set up a time for my training.
After the conversation I rushed into my mom's office to tell her the news. She was surprised but also happy for me. After I finished filing papers for my mom I rushed home to start packing, feeling excited to tell Brandon. But suddenly it hit me that I also needed to call my boss from the cornfield and fill him in on the situation. When I called my boss I nervously explained that I had been offered the job and reminded him that I had taken the day off Friday to watch my niece Abby. "So I guess today was your last day then" he said in a light tone. "Yeah, I guess so" I replied. I thanked him for being a great boss and for being understanding of the situation. He told me he was happy for me and excited for my new adventure but told me that if I ever needed to come back to the cornfield I would always be welcome.
I was grateful for his reaction to the situation and relieved that I hadn't lost his respect somehow. As I packed up my room and let my friends from work and my singles ward know I was leaving I felt both sadness and anticipation for the journey ahead of me. And though I was sad to leave my friends I was grateful for their support as I jumped feet first into a great adventure, not really knowing how it would all turn out.
When I got to the actual office building I was definitely more nervous than I anticipated. As I sat down with the PSR Director and one of the owners of the counseling agency I soon felt a calm come over me. I don't really remember a lot of details of the interview, but I remember that when I left I felt a sense of peace and satisfaction with how it had gone.
As I left the office building I called Brandon to let him know my interview was over and that I was going to come back to Rexburg and attend devotional with him. He promised he would save me a seat. When I found him at the BYU-I Center he gave me a hug and asked me how it had gone. I told him I felt good about it and he reassured me that I was likely to get the job. After devotional we went back to Brandon's apartment and I got to meet his roommates as well as talk to his brother Jared who had just returned from Iraq. Jared having known me from our previous student ward was a little surprised by the news that Brandon and I were dating, but he was supportive and happy for us (which was a definite plus). Around 5pm I reluctantly said my good-byes to Brandon and his friends. He walked me to the car and I could already feel a twinge of sadness at having to say goodbye once again. I couldn't help but hope and pray that this was one of our last goodbyes we had to face.
The following day in the cornfield my boss randomly started to ask me what my plans where as far as finding a job in a field relating to my degree. I decided it was the perfect time to let him know I had actually had an interview the previous day in Idaho Falls and was supposed to hear back by Friday. He was happy to hear that and said he was anxious to hear any updates. I was grateful that he was more happy for me than anything else.
After getting off work by noon again that day I headed in to the office where my mom works to do some filing (which I often did as a part time job to help her out as well as earn some extra money). While I was filing some papers I got a call from the counseling agency offering me the job. I accepted and asked when they would like me to start. They mentioned that they would like me to start the next day. I was a little shocked by that and had to explain that I would need time to move but would be willing to start on Monday. They agreed that would work and we set up a time for my training.
After the conversation I rushed into my mom's office to tell her the news. She was surprised but also happy for me. After I finished filing papers for my mom I rushed home to start packing, feeling excited to tell Brandon. But suddenly it hit me that I also needed to call my boss from the cornfield and fill him in on the situation. When I called my boss I nervously explained that I had been offered the job and reminded him that I had taken the day off Friday to watch my niece Abby. "So I guess today was your last day then" he said in a light tone. "Yeah, I guess so" I replied. I thanked him for being a great boss and for being understanding of the situation. He told me he was happy for me and excited for my new adventure but told me that if I ever needed to come back to the cornfield I would always be welcome.
I was grateful for his reaction to the situation and relieved that I hadn't lost his respect somehow. As I packed up my room and let my friends from work and my singles ward know I was leaving I felt both sadness and anticipation for the journey ahead of me. And though I was sad to leave my friends I was grateful for their support as I jumped feet first into a great adventure, not really knowing how it would all turn out.
Friday, July 18, 2014
The Phone Call
Even before Brandon and I were official he had mentioned that I should move back to Rexburg and since all the jobs I had been hoping for in Utah hadn't panned out I decided that I would just try my luck with applying for jobs in the Rexburg and Idaho Falls area. As I headed home the next morning (Sunday) with my mom in the car I was even more determined to find a job there. In fact, some of the time that Brandon and I had spent in the park the previous day was spent talking about what jobs I could possibly do in Rexburg or Idaho Falls. He had even offered to take my resume to a few places for me. Now that we were really "official" though I felt even more determined to move closer to him because I knew long distance would be pretty hard for us.
When my mom and I arrived home we made it just in time for her to go to the family ward and for me to go to my singles ward. The only thing I remember about church that day was getting to announce in Relief Society that I had a boyfriend! (Normally I get a lot more out of it, I promise! But I was a bit "twitter pated"!)
After church was also kind of a blur besides the fact that my parents both took turns teasing me about marrying Brandon and wedding plans. I knew they were just teasing me but at the same time I knew they had never ever teased me about marrying anyone else so I was pretty sure they either really liked Brandon or saw that I REALLY liked Brandon... or maybe both. Either way it made me both excited and extremely scared all at the same time.
On Monday (the next day) I had to go back to work in the cornfield again. Out there I hardly ever kept my phone in my pack because if it ever fell out you would never find it; so naturally my cell phone was left in my lunch box and only looked at on breaks. When I returned for the morning break I realized that I had a missed call and a voicemail. As I listened to the voicemail I was completely shocked and excited. One of the counseling agencies I had applied at for a PSR (Psychosocial Rehabilitation) Specialist position a couple weeks before had called to say they wanted to interview me! I knew I didn't have time to call them back during breaks but I was really glad to know we were going to have a short work day so I could call as soon as I got off work.
When I finally got to talk to the PSR Director a few hours later he asked if I would be available to interview the next day (Tuesday). Luckily it was a slow week for the cornfield so we were only working Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so of course I said yes.
I decided it would be better to just leave that day so that I had plenty of time to get to the interview. I packed quickly and was on the road by 2pm. I called Brandon on my way down there and he actually didn't get back to me for a couple hours so I was about half way to Rexburg when I called him. He was pretty excited about the interview and that I was going to be able to see him that evening as well. We planned to meet up as soon as he finished rock climbing with his brother Jared. After the long drive to Rexburg I was a little tired, but as soon as Brandon wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace I forgot I was tired because all I knew was that suddenly I felt at home.
When my mom and I arrived home we made it just in time for her to go to the family ward and for me to go to my singles ward. The only thing I remember about church that day was getting to announce in Relief Society that I had a boyfriend! (Normally I get a lot more out of it, I promise! But I was a bit "twitter pated"!)
After church was also kind of a blur besides the fact that my parents both took turns teasing me about marrying Brandon and wedding plans. I knew they were just teasing me but at the same time I knew they had never ever teased me about marrying anyone else so I was pretty sure they either really liked Brandon or saw that I REALLY liked Brandon... or maybe both. Either way it made me both excited and extremely scared all at the same time.
On Monday (the next day) I had to go back to work in the cornfield again. Out there I hardly ever kept my phone in my pack because if it ever fell out you would never find it; so naturally my cell phone was left in my lunch box and only looked at on breaks. When I returned for the morning break I realized that I had a missed call and a voicemail. As I listened to the voicemail I was completely shocked and excited. One of the counseling agencies I had applied at for a PSR (Psychosocial Rehabilitation) Specialist position a couple weeks before had called to say they wanted to interview me! I knew I didn't have time to call them back during breaks but I was really glad to know we were going to have a short work day so I could call as soon as I got off work.
When I finally got to talk to the PSR Director a few hours later he asked if I would be available to interview the next day (Tuesday). Luckily it was a slow week for the cornfield so we were only working Monday, Wednesday and Friday, so of course I said yes.
I decided it would be better to just leave that day so that I had plenty of time to get to the interview. I packed quickly and was on the road by 2pm. I called Brandon on my way down there and he actually didn't get back to me for a couple hours so I was about half way to Rexburg when I called him. He was pretty excited about the interview and that I was going to be able to see him that evening as well. We planned to meet up as soon as he finished rock climbing with his brother Jared. After the long drive to Rexburg I was a little tired, but as soon as Brandon wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace I forgot I was tired because all I knew was that suddenly I felt at home.
To Be, or Not to Be (Official), That is the Question
The following day Brandon called me and asked if I wanted to go to DI (for those not familiar with that acronym it stands for Deseret Industries and is a store similar to Goodwill) with him and a couple friends and of course I said yes. He had invited Keith to come as well so I met up with Keith and then we met up with Brandon. As we drove to DI Brandon kept tickling me by poking me in the side. I was pretty happy that he was being so flirtatious in front of his friends and I took that as a pretty good sign. Soon we were walking around the various aisles looking at random things and our hands brushed and to my surprise Brandon grabbed my hand. We continued walking around the store hand in hand but I had to wonder if he would let go once we reached my brother and the group of friends who were busy looking at the clothing racks. But to my surprise and joy, he didn't let go as we approached them a few minutes later.
Of course I was happy that we were holding hands but I also had some questions running through my mind. Admittedly I am one of those people who over analyzes everything so I kept wondering things like "What does hand holding mean to Brandon? Does that mean we're official? What are we going to tell our friends if they ask?" I tried to bring up some of those questions but I could tell Brandon wasn't quite ready to answer them yet but I also warned him that all of our friends were going to have questions as well.
Sure enough, as we met up with a bunch of different groups of friends throughout the day and even bumped into some of my previous volunteer group leaders we got a lot of awkward questions like "So, is this your boyfriend/girlfriend?" or "How long has this been going on?" I kept waiting for Brandon to give them an explanation because I was curious myself and really wanted answers too. But to my disappointment Brandon changed the subject or gave short, nondescript answers each time someone asked. Even though I really wanted to know if holding my hand all day in front of everyone meant anything I decided to just have fun and enjoy the day and try not to worry about it. And we did have lots of fun! We spent time just at the park just talking and getting to know each other, rode a tandem bike together, wandered around campus and went to I-Night. Every moment that passed gave me more confidence in my feelings for Brandon. Once again I found myself feeling surprised at how easy, comfortable and natural everything felt between us. I had never felt that same feeling with anyone else and knowing that made me nervous and excited all at the same time. That day came to a close way too quickly and before I knew it Brandon was walking me back to my parents van where we would have to say goodbye (as I had to leave to go back home very early the next morning). When we reached the van Brandon told me he wanted to talk to me a little before I left. It was getting cold and so we both got inside the van and I started it up to keep us warm as we talked. The details of the majority of that conversation have been forgotten but I do know that I finally asked Brandon if he knew he wanted to be official or not. He said that he was okay with being official but he also seemed a little nervous about it and I could tell that it was kind of scary for him to make that decision. I asked him if he was sure but assured me that he was. We got out of the van and hugged and said our goodbyes. As I watched him wave in the rear view mirror I knew I missed him already.
Of course I was happy that we were holding hands but I also had some questions running through my mind. Admittedly I am one of those people who over analyzes everything so I kept wondering things like "What does hand holding mean to Brandon? Does that mean we're official? What are we going to tell our friends if they ask?" I tried to bring up some of those questions but I could tell Brandon wasn't quite ready to answer them yet but I also warned him that all of our friends were going to have questions as well.
Sure enough, as we met up with a bunch of different groups of friends throughout the day and even bumped into some of my previous volunteer group leaders we got a lot of awkward questions like "So, is this your boyfriend/girlfriend?" or "How long has this been going on?" I kept waiting for Brandon to give them an explanation because I was curious myself and really wanted answers too. But to my disappointment Brandon changed the subject or gave short, nondescript answers each time someone asked. Even though I really wanted to know if holding my hand all day in front of everyone meant anything I decided to just have fun and enjoy the day and try not to worry about it. And we did have lots of fun! We spent time just at the park just talking and getting to know each other, rode a tandem bike together, wandered around campus and went to I-Night. Every moment that passed gave me more confidence in my feelings for Brandon. Once again I found myself feeling surprised at how easy, comfortable and natural everything felt between us. I had never felt that same feeling with anyone else and knowing that made me nervous and excited all at the same time. That day came to a close way too quickly and before I knew it Brandon was walking me back to my parents van where we would have to say goodbye (as I had to leave to go back home very early the next morning). When we reached the van Brandon told me he wanted to talk to me a little before I left. It was getting cold and so we both got inside the van and I started it up to keep us warm as we talked. The details of the majority of that conversation have been forgotten but I do know that I finally asked Brandon if he knew he wanted to be official or not. He said that he was okay with being official but he also seemed a little nervous about it and I could tell that it was kind of scary for him to make that decision. I asked him if he was sure but assured me that he was. We got out of the van and hugged and said our goodbyes. As I watched him wave in the rear view mirror I knew I missed him already.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Rexburg Revisited
The drive to Rexburg had never seemed longer, as I was anxiously waiting to see Brandon again. It felt as if the day had dragged on immeasurably, and that I was going to be stuck forever in the mid-afternoon of that Friday. When we reached Idaho Falls I felt even more anxious knowing that I was only a half-hour away from seeing Brandon again. But the words from Brandon's most recent phone call drifted back into my mind "If things go well this weekend I think I would like to date you." Was I really going to be in a relationship with the most amazing boy I had ever met within a matter of a few hours? I couldn't decide if those words were comforting, or just causing additional anxiety; for I felt a sense of pressure to live up to whoever he had decided he liked that Saturday almost two weeks previous.
The string of thoughts was broken as my mom announced that she and Keith would be going food shopping at WinCo instead of trying to brave the crowds at any of the Rexburg grocery stores. I knew it was a good idea that made sense for my mom and for Keith, but I groaned inwardly, knowing that this would surely add at least an hour to the expected arrival time. As the minutes passed I felt myself growing more and more anxious. After two long hours I could hardly take the waiting much longer. I gave in and called my mom, asking how much longer they might be. She said that they had just reached the checkout line and that they should be home soon. Almost thirty minutes later my mom and Keith walked in the door. I jumped up off of Angie's couch (my sister Angie this time) and asked if it was time to go to Rexburg. My mom acknowledged that we could now make our way to Rexburg. I texted Brandon to let him know that we were just now leaving Idaho Falls. It was just past 7:30pm and he mentioned that the New Student Talent show was starting at 8:00pm so we would have to meet up afterwards. I was nearly heartbroken.
"How long is the show going to last?" I asked him.
"Probably an hour. Hour and a half maybe."
"What?!" I thought. "This can't be. I can't stand waiting another 2 hours to see Brandon!"
"Okay" I replied to him, "see you after the show."
When I got off the phone I told my mom that the show was starting and that I would now have to wait even longer to see Brandon. I did't want to get upset, but I could feel my frustration rising to the surface of my emotions. I finally admitted to my mom that I was not too happy to have had to wait so long to see Brandon, and had not expected the extra delays. She was sympathetic to my frustrations and said that she would drop me off by the Hart Building so I could attend the talent show with Brandon. I was grateful of her understanding and agreed that would be a pleasant alternative. I called Brandon once again and he liked the idea as well and sent me a text of the seats he was sitting in. When my mom dropped my off near the curb of the Hart Building I felt a little off balance and self-conscious. It had been almost two weeks since I had seen him and we had mostly texted and only when neither of us were working, so I felt a little anxious, not knowing what to expect or if he would feel differently about me after spending more time with me. When I finally pulled open the door to the Hart Building my own heart was pounding once again. I felt that perhaps anyone walking by would even be able to hear it with how loud it seemed to my own ears. When I finally reached Brandon I thought my heart would pound right through my ribcage. As I approached him he embraced me, and I felt myself relax and a certain calm spread over me. I soon felt I was myself again and could enjoy the talent show, as well as enjoying the fact that I was once again seated by Brandon Carney. The talent show was actually quite impressive and Brandon and I talked a bit about some of our favorite numbers as we exited the gym. I then got a text that my mom was going to return to Idaho Falls soon with Angie and Ben, to stay the night at their house. I told Brandon I wanted to say goodbye and asked if he wanted to come. He said that he did. As we approached my sister and brother-in-laws car I heard Brandon call out "Hi mom!" as he greeted my mom with a hug. I was surprised and admittedly hopeful for our future when he called my own mother his mom. I felt that maybe he knew what was to come, and perhaps, eventually he could really call my mom his mom as well.
The string of thoughts was broken as my mom announced that she and Keith would be going food shopping at WinCo instead of trying to brave the crowds at any of the Rexburg grocery stores. I knew it was a good idea that made sense for my mom and for Keith, but I groaned inwardly, knowing that this would surely add at least an hour to the expected arrival time. As the minutes passed I felt myself growing more and more anxious. After two long hours I could hardly take the waiting much longer. I gave in and called my mom, asking how much longer they might be. She said that they had just reached the checkout line and that they should be home soon. Almost thirty minutes later my mom and Keith walked in the door. I jumped up off of Angie's couch (my sister Angie this time) and asked if it was time to go to Rexburg. My mom acknowledged that we could now make our way to Rexburg. I texted Brandon to let him know that we were just now leaving Idaho Falls. It was just past 7:30pm and he mentioned that the New Student Talent show was starting at 8:00pm so we would have to meet up afterwards. I was nearly heartbroken.
"How long is the show going to last?" I asked him.
"Probably an hour. Hour and a half maybe."
"What?!" I thought. "This can't be. I can't stand waiting another 2 hours to see Brandon!"
"Okay" I replied to him, "see you after the show."
When I got off the phone I told my mom that the show was starting and that I would now have to wait even longer to see Brandon. I did't want to get upset, but I could feel my frustration rising to the surface of my emotions. I finally admitted to my mom that I was not too happy to have had to wait so long to see Brandon, and had not expected the extra delays. She was sympathetic to my frustrations and said that she would drop me off by the Hart Building so I could attend the talent show with Brandon. I was grateful of her understanding and agreed that would be a pleasant alternative. I called Brandon once again and he liked the idea as well and sent me a text of the seats he was sitting in. When my mom dropped my off near the curb of the Hart Building I felt a little off balance and self-conscious. It had been almost two weeks since I had seen him and we had mostly texted and only when neither of us were working, so I felt a little anxious, not knowing what to expect or if he would feel differently about me after spending more time with me. When I finally pulled open the door to the Hart Building my own heart was pounding once again. I felt that perhaps anyone walking by would even be able to hear it with how loud it seemed to my own ears. When I finally reached Brandon I thought my heart would pound right through my ribcage. As I approached him he embraced me, and I felt myself relax and a certain calm spread over me. I soon felt I was myself again and could enjoy the talent show, as well as enjoying the fact that I was once again seated by Brandon Carney. The talent show was actually quite impressive and Brandon and I talked a bit about some of our favorite numbers as we exited the gym. I then got a text that my mom was going to return to Idaho Falls soon with Angie and Ben, to stay the night at their house. I told Brandon I wanted to say goodbye and asked if he wanted to come. He said that he did. As we approached my sister and brother-in-laws car I heard Brandon call out "Hi mom!" as he greeted my mom with a hug. I was surprised and admittedly hopeful for our future when he called my own mother his mom. I felt that maybe he knew what was to come, and perhaps, eventually he could really call my mom his mom as well.
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