The Promise Kept

After I went back home I had hoped to occasionally hear from Brandon since he had talked of visiting me (possibly even before his cousin's wedding) but 2 months had passed and I hadn't heard anything from him. I was starting to wonder how I could have allowed myself to believe that Brandon might actually like me. But then one evening as I was watching a movie with my parents I saw my cell phone screen Light up with "Brandon Ca..." My first reaction was confusion. The first person that came to mind was a fellow coworker also named Brandon (who was 18 and had a talent for making everyone go crazy). But then I thought "Why and how could he be calling me? No, it isn't possible because I wouldn't have his number and he wouldn't have mine." And yes, I know it seems quite silly that it could have taken me that much time to come to the conclusion that it was Brandon Carney... but after two months of never hearing from Brandon I had assumed the worst: he was like most guys who acted sincerely interested only to realize either a couple days or a couple weeks later that they really weren't so interested anymore.

When I finally realized it was Brandon Carney calling me I jumped off the couch and ran for the nearest bedroom to answer the phone. I was so excited that he was actually calling me! But suddenly my analytical brain started zooming and I decided I didn't want to sound as if this was the day I had been waiting for (even if it was). I thought I had better not scare him off, so no matter why he called I had to act nonchalant. Well, it was hard to do when he asked what I was doing on the weekend of August 19th and 20th. When I looked at the calendar and realized those dates were 3 weeks away I wanted to believe it was a sign that he was still interested in me (why else would someone call that far ahead, right?). As happy as I was to hear from him I was convincing with my casual and unconcerned tone, that I wasn't too concerned about working things out. I even kept the conversation short and business like... never suspecting that he might actually think I really wasn't interested. (Yes, I know, we girls--especially me--are silly!)

As much as I had tried to mask my feelings from Brandon during our phone conversation, I couldn't mask my feelings with my coworkers. During the following weeks I questioned my co-workers as to whether there was a possibility that he had any interest in me or if he was simply a friend. I looked forward to his visit but tried to tell myself I shouldn't get too excited because the likelihood that he liked me when I liked him was next to impossible in my mind--as it had rarely happened in the past, and never lasted more than a few weeks.

A week before Brandon was going to come down to Boise, Brandon texted me to ask what my schedule was looking like and if I had remembered he was coming. Oh Brandon, its a good thing you didn't know how aware I was that it was a week away. I was so nervous and excited... but trying not to be... it was ridiculous. But once again, I tried to act calm and nonchalant about everything. But as we continued to communicate I soon realized I was probably coming across as indifferent. So at the end of the conversation I told him that though I was busy, I would make time to see him. My statement seemed to have improved the quality of conversation and a glimmer of hope appeared once again in my mind.

When Brandon called me on Friday to figure out which day would be best to try to get together I noticed how comfortable it was to talk to him. We decided that we would both have more time to see each other the next day (Saturday). When I asked when he was going out of town he said his family was planning on leaving at 5 or 6pm Saturday. I was a little saddened by that news because I figured I would get off at work at noon at the earliest, then by the time I got ready and drove to Boise to meet him it'd be closer to 1:30 or 2. I was a little disappointed that I wasn't going to have more time with him. But then again, I had spent most of work talking to my good friend Savannah about how seeing him would probably just be another disappointment because I was interested in him... and whenever I liked a boy that meant another heartbreak. "And," I said "I will be spending money for the gas to get there, probably have to buy my own lunch, and waste a lot of time, money and energy on a boy who doesn't think of me as anything more than a friend."

That night I couldn't decide how to feel as I drifted off to sleep. All I knew is that I was either waiting to be disappointed or possibly pleasantly surprised. With all of my previous experience I had my bets set on the first.

Visiting Rexburg

As a new BYU-Idaho graduate with apparently no marriage prospects I knew that technically I could go wherever I wanted to go and do whatever I wanted to do. But, at the same time I knew I had to face the reality of finding a job and starting some kind of career. Moving back home to work in the cornfield wasn't easy. I was getting a little burned out after 9 previous summers and I was even more worried that I didn't really have a plan that I could count on. I was constantly worrying, planning and analyzing my options for the future.

Most of this worrying, planning and analyzing was centered around my plans to move to Provo. I liked the idea of Provo because it meant I could have a fresh start... you know, make new friends, meet new guys, etc. But, on occasion, I would think back to the end of my last semester, wondering if Brandon and I really had hit it off during that April snowball fight, or if it was only my wishful thinking. The good news was that my mom, Angie, Marcie, and I were all planning a mother-daughter weekend in Idaho Falls. The fact that I was planning to use some of that time in Rexburg to see friends was mentioned to one of my FHE brothers from the previous semester who just happened to be Brandon's roommate (Spencer Brown). Apparently Spencer had mentioned to Brandon that I was planning on coming to town because I found the following post on my facebook wall from Brandon: "Jennifer, What is this I hear about you coming to the great Rexburg. I sure hope that you make some time for me to see you. Let me know what is going on in your life. Thanks for being you. Bye bye for now."

Of course this created some excitement. I hoped that it was a confirmation of the hope I had held for the last several weeks. So, of course I replied to let him know I was going to be there and would enjoy seeing him if he were not too busy. Brandon said he would make time to see me and mentioned that Spencer was having a birthday party (that I'd actually already been invited to). To my delight I ended up spending most of the time at that party talking to Brandon. During our conversation Brandon mentioned that his cousin was getting married in August and would be having a reception in Boise. He suggested that he would enjoy visiting me on that occasion if I had time. I agreed that it would good to see him if he had the opportunity.

When I left Rexburg the following day I pondered the conversation that had taken place on Saturday night. The question in my mind was not of his good intentions, but rather if he would actually follow through. I wanted to hold on to the hope that he had given me in mentioning his cousin's wedding but previous experience had taught me not to count on it. And so I wondered as we drove away, was my first impression right... Was Brandon really different than anyone I had ever known?

"Expect the Unexpected"

In response to some some car problems with my Grandparent's old pickup truck Keith had given me the advice "Expect the unexpected." That was definitely true for that old '82 pickup but I also feel it is applicable to everyday life. So, on that note, I begin the story of my post graduation life.

But first, I must note that the inspiration for this blog happens to be the main subject of my story. Brandon Carney. He is a key player in my post graduation life. But before I get ahead of myself I must first go back to April of 2011, where it all began.


It was finals week, I was about to graduate, and I was facing the unknown. The unknown scared me but I had a plan. I was going to graduate from BYU-Idaho, move back to Nampa, Idaho (where I grew up) to work in the cornfield for one last summer, then move to Utah, get a job, and save up for a year or two so that I could start on a Masters Degree, and then I was going to find the man of my dreams. Today I look back at the life I had planned out for myself and smile, realizing that once again, I am glad I didn't get everything I thought I really wanted.


But lets go back to finals week where the story unfolds. I was ready to be done with school, but sad to leave my friends. But still I felt that I was getting too old for the Rexburg scene (at a school nicknamed "BYU-I Do" being a single girl at 23... going on 24 isn't always easy) and I was sure there was nothing left for me in good old Rexburg. I never expected that one day (well, more like a few hours in that day) would be the start of this incredible journey.


It was simple really, how it all happened. Brandon was being a helpful friend (though he really didn't know me all that well) and bringing me a few things from my sister's house that I needed for graduation (and to those who don't know him he would do that for any friend because he is just that kind of a guy). When Brandon got to the apartment Justin and Shay (a couple of our mutual friends) were already at our apartment to say their goodbyes at the end of the semester.

To all who don't know Brandon, Justin or Shay, I think I could safely say that each of them fit the theme of this post. Before I knew it one of them had grabbed my roommate Angie, slung her over their shoulder and rushed outside. (Unsurprisingly snow had fallen on the ground that day... though it was more like slush by the evening). Moments after laughing at the squeals I heard coming through the doorway I found myself in the same perdicament... but I wasn't about to let them have an easy fight. So, Brandon, Justin, Shay, Angie and I all ended up in a snowball fight. Finally my hands felt too frozen to keep going so I rushed inside, only to be followed by the rest of the group into the apartment. The snowball fight ended but the fun didn't. It turned into a tickle fight until we were all too tired to continue. I sat down and to my surprise Brandon sat down next to me. We all enjoyed talking and laughing about all the fun we had had. The time had rushed by (as it always does when you are having a lot of fun) and soon it was time for the guys to leave for curfew. I remembered feeling a tinge of sadness as I hugged each one of them. I was going to miss Rexburg and all the friends I had made, and I had no idea when I would be coming back... after all, I was never going to live in Rexburg again... or so I thought.